


the road to being a family

by fantasticfours



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Family Bonding, Gen, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 12:36:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13190229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fantasticfours/pseuds/fantasticfours
Summary: At least one road trip is always needed to help family members bond.





	the road to being a family

“…A road trip,” Tim asked slowly, almost like he didn’t believe it.

“Yes.”

“Why?” Damian asked.

“Alfred wants all of us out of the house for a bit, and Dick decided that meant it was a good idea for some… family bonding,” Bruce replied with a sigh.

Jason stood up suddenly. “Yeah, I’m out. I don’t _live_ in this house anyway.” He went to leave, but instead saw Dick blocking the door, arms crossed.

“Come on, little wing.” Then he looked out at all the rest of his siblings. None of them looked particularly happy about it either, and he sighed. “Cass, you’re with me right?”

“Sounds… fun,” was all she said, before staring at everyone else.

“That’s not fair, Cass always gets what she wants,” Tim said with a sigh. “But, I mean… it could be fun.”

Duke shook his head. “I’m not getting any more wrapped up into your crazy than I need to. I’m staying here.”

“But Pennyworth wants us out of the house.”

“He wants _you_ guys out of the house. I don’t make a mess, or noise.” With that he left, leaving Damian blinking in his wake.

Tim started again, “What about, y’know. Batman? Gotham?”

Dick smiled. “Babs agreed to have the Birds of Prey patrol for a few days.”

Steph nodded thoughtfully, before raising a hand. Bruce raised his eyebrows at her and sighed. “Stephanie, you don’t need to raise your hand.”

“Yeah, I do it ‘cause it annoys you. Anyway, I don’t live here either?” Then she smiled. “I mean, I’m happy to come. Just… pointing that out.”

Cass smiled at her, before turning to Jason and Damian. “Little brothers.”

“This is idiotic.”

“Yeah, what the kid said.”

“ _Little brothers._ ”

“…Fine. But I won’t be happy about it.”

“We’d never expect something like that from either of you.”

~~

They had rented a minivan.

“I can’t believe this is what Batman has come to,” Bruce sighed when he saw it for the first time. “Renting out a _minivan_ to take his six children on a road trip.”

Jason dropped his bags to the floor to clap a hand onto his shoulder. “Maybe next time, you should think twice about adopting six children.”

Figures. Jason only ever showed him _any_ sort of physical affection when he was mocking him.

He shook his head before picking up the bags he had left on the floor and putting them into the back of the car.

“What do you have in here?” he asked in amazement. Jason rolled his eyes.

“Books. Lots and lots of books. Also… _maybe_ a few guns, but you can’t prove anything.”

As he said that, Steph bounced out, holding more bags than should have been possible. Cass was trailing behind her, carrying one small one.

She saw them looking at her and how many bags she had, before laughing and leaning in. “I am going to give _everyone_ on this trip a makeover if it’s the last thing I do.”

“Try that with Damian and it just might be.”

Followed by, “Cass, did you even bring anything? That’s literally a backpack.”

“I don’t need clothes. I will… steal everyone else’s.”

~~

“There are TVs in here,” Jason observed with contempt as he climbed into the minivan. “Who needs TVs in a car?”

Steph climbed in next to him. “Rich people,” she said seriously, and Jason nodded.

“Fucking rich people.”

Then Steph looked at them again. “Anyway, I think it’s great. We can all watch the LEGO Batman Movie and watch Bruce twitch.” Cass followed next to Steph, and nodded in agreement.

Wordlessly, Tim reached into his pocket and pulled out a USB which he threw Stephanie’s way. She caught it effortlessly, and looked at it for a second.

“Is this…?” she started reverently, and Tim nodded.

“I carry it on my person at all times.”

Steph stared at it in awe, before reaching over to the TV and plugging in the USB. A second later a rough voice started playing through the speakers, and Bruce groaned as Dick started reciting the script from the seat next to him.

“Do we have to watch this again?” was Damian’s only contribution from the backseat.

~~

“Padre?” Steph started once the movie had finished.

Bruce just shook his head, “No.”

“Batdad?” Tim then leaned over the middle row of seats to poke Bruce’s cheek.

“Tim, I’m _driving_.”

“Where are we even going? I missed that part when we started,” Jason asked, looking up from his book.

“I don’t know, ask Dick. He’s the one giving me directions.”

“Where are we going, Dickface?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“Grayson,” Damian tried, but Dick just shook his head.

Steph jumped. “Wait, are Tim and Damian sitting next to each other? Who thought that would be a good idea? Who _let_ that _happen_?”

Dick was quiet for a second, thinking about it. Then he undid his seatbelt and started climbing to the back.

“Dick!” Bruce yelled, before turning the car and stopping it on the side of the road. “ _Warn_ me next time.”

“Sorry,” Dick replied as he sat in the spot between Tim and Damian. He smiled before putting an arm around both of them. “Hey, I can actually see the TV screen now!”

“That’s great, Dick. You’re still the one giving directions, though, so…”

“Don’t worry. I’ll just yell them.”

“Please don’t do that,” Tim said from next to him. “My ears won’t be able to take it.”

Before Dick could reply, Steph smiled. “Hey, if we’re on a road trip, we should totally play road trip games, right?” When no one said anything, she just continued. “I spy with my little eye, something… yellow.”

Next to her Jason rolled his eyes. “Corn. That’s the only thing we _can_ see, Steph.”

Steph crossed her arms. “Your turn now.”

He looked around for a second. “I spy with my little eye… an asshole.”

Steph raised her hand. “Is it Tim?”

Tim looked at them both, and sighed when Jason just nodded. “I’m not sure what I expected from you, honestly.”

Bruce rolled his eyes. “Stop using I Spy to call each other names, we’ve _talked_ about this.”

~~

A few hours later, Bruce and Dick were the only ones still awake. Dick was being as quiet as he could and giving Bruce the directions.

The others had all fallen asleep. Both Tim and Damian were cuddling against Dick, and Steph, Cass and Jason were lying on each other.

“This is nice,” Dick said quietly as he brushed his hand through Tim’s hair.

“The quiet? Yeah, I agree.”

“Very funny,” Dick’s voice was flat. “No, I meant… _this_. All of us together, not fighting, _look_ , everyone’s hugging and cuddling!”

“Hnh. It is nice, I guess.”

As he spoke, Steph yawned and started sitting up, blinking slowly. Then she turned around to the backseat and poked Tim in the cheek, who jumped.

Bruce sighed. “Well, it was nice while it lasted.”

~~

“Stop the car, I’m hungry.”

“ _Stephanie_ …”

“Sorry. _Please_ stop the car, I’m hungry. Look, there’s a gas station _right_ there.”

Bruce sighed, before turning the car. Stephanie cheered, before grabbing Jason and Cass by the hand and looking at both of them. “Cass, you and I are getting snacks. Jason, you’re holding them for us because I can’t be bothered.”

“Fine, but I get a say in what we buy,” Jason’s voice faded as they walked away.

“Hnh. I’m going to regret this, aren’t I,” Bruce said flatly. It wasn’t a question, but Tim answered anyway.

“You are _so_ going to regret this.”

He was proven right when they came back with nothing but chocolate bars and salt and vinegar chips.

“Tt. You couldn’t even get some variety?” Damian asked with a sneer when he saw what they had brought back.

“How much variety do you think there is in a gas station, Dami?” Steph shot back. He just rolled his eyes and grabbed some of the chocolate.

“This is literally… you got the exact same type of chocolate, too. You got literally two things,” Dick said to them in amazement.

Bruce sighed. “Steph and Jason aren’t allowed to be involved in buying food anymore.”

“What about Cass?”

“I trust Cass. This wasn’t her fault.”

“She’s the one who got half of it!”

“Hnh.”

“Don’t give me that tone, asshole.”

~~

“Hey, give me the aux,” Steph asked after a few minutes.

Tim sighed. “Steph’s songs are terrible. Please don’t.”

“Hayley Kiyoko is _perfect_ ¸ Tim, and so is her _music_ – Bruce, give it here. Now I’m playing them to annoy him. Or even better, wait…”

Bruce just sighed and passed it to her. A second later music started playing.

Dick’s head shot up. “Steph… It’s _2017_ … I can’t believe I’m being _rickrolled_ in 2017…”

Steph started laughing, and just made it louder.

Jason smiled. “See, this is why you should unironically like this song. Any rickroll just ends up… mildly enjoyable.”

“Same,” was all Tim said before raising his hand. Jason high-fived it, while Damian looked on in confusion.

“What’s… ‘rickrolling’?”

Cass sighed. “You have much to learn, little brother.”

Soon Tim, Jason and Steph were singing along to it. Dick had his head in his hands and Bruce was successfully ignoring all of them.

~~

“Are we there yet?” Tim whined from the backseat. Bruce just grunted, so he turned to Dick instead. “Are we _there_ yet?”

Dick smiled. “We’re close.”

“You still have not told us where we’re going,” Damian stated, looking at him questioningly.

“Smallville.”

Everyone looked at him. “Dick… are you taking us to see the Kents?” Steph finally asked.

“…Maybe.” Then he saw everyone’s looks. “What? It’s been _ages_ since I saw Clark. Getting everyone out of the house? Perfect opportunity!”

Damian tapped his arm. “Jon will be there as well, right?”

“Yeah, he will.”

Damian nodded, satisfied. Bruce just sighed.

“You could have told me that from the start so that you didn’t have to yell the directions at the top of your lungs.”

“But then you wouldn’t have _gone_. We all know you. You’re like this.”

“Hnh,” was all that came from Bruce’s mouth. Even he couldn’t argue with that.

Then Jason wondered aloud, “Do you think there’ll be food there? How long are we staying?”

~~

They’d been driving for another ten minutes when Cass reached over Steph and poked Jason in the side. “Read to me.”

He looked at her in confusion, but she just stared at him. With a sigh, he reached under his seat and pulled out a book.

“I’ve only got Persuasion here with me, the rest are in the back…”

“That’s fine.”

“There are… other people in here too? Who probably… don’t want that?”

She kept staring at him.

“…Fine. _Sir Walter Elliot, of Kellynch Hall_ …”

~~

They’d gotten a few chapter in when the car came to a stop. Bruce pointed out the window. “We’re here. Happy?”

“Very.”

As they walked up to the door, Dick smiled at all of them. “We should do this again soon.”

They all stared at him. “ _Absolutely_ not.”

“But _guys_ …”

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas! I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> [tumblr](https://bisexual-jason-todds.tumblr.com/) :))


End file.
